Tuesday, May 30, 2006
The Truth About Holidays
As you probably all are rejoicing now, thinking that FINALLY, it's the school holidays and we've all gotten off the hook [for the month at the very least] and can finally take a breather, we can take time, take stock, smell the flowers and take in the view of our lives that fly by in a flustered floozy during the school term. Well, we, the investigators at TheSchoolConspiracyTheory certainly DO agree and believe that the holidays are indeed a time of much needed rest and relaxation, but is that all? Is there more to holidays than the seemingly innocent front of giving students a break ever so often? Join us as we delve into the deeper, and reveal the darker secrets.
As we have mentioned in earlier articles, TheSchoolConspiracyTheory has uncovered the truth about schools, that they are in fact facilities fun by mercenary governmental organizations to tap Brain Energy from unsuspecting students. Why then, are we given school vacations, ranging between one and six weeks?
We do not deny the merits of school vacations. After all, we know how tired and hoe desperate students are for rest at the end of each ten-week term at school. Students need time to recharge, because when frustration and fatigue sets in, and students are driven to the point of Almost-Depression, Energy Production levels fall sharply. That is bad sign number one for the EA. Furthermore, with students on the brink of mental breakdowns, the EA could lose important sources of Energy Creation should students tip over and end up with clinical depression, or if they stay away from school on MC or with the help of a parents' letter. That is bad sign number two. The third bad sign comes in the form of a Counter-Energy that does more harm than good, but TheSchoolConspiracyTheory has yet to explore this aspect of Energy Creation closely.
But more than that, we have to examine closely what closely precedes and follows the so-called school vacation, and to suit our current holidays, let us examine this in context of the June holidays. For most schools, both Primary and Secondary, there are Mid-Year Examinations in the lead-up to the holidays, and as aforementioned in our earlier publication, Examinations and Tests are a means of harnessing immense quantities of Energy as the papers are designed to spike Brain Wave patterns that prove to be the most useful in generating useable Energy. The same applies for the week following the four-week break, which then witnesses student in Junior Colleges going through their version of the Mid-Year Examinations and its variations that hide behind euphemisms such as Block Tests and June Common Tests. True, in the case of Junior College students, the holidays are a source of much-needed time for revision, but this just serves all the more to the purposes of the Energy Authority -- the more students know, the more they will think and answer the papers along the lines of what is required of them to produce the optimal amount and type of Brain Energy, and the more the EA stands to gain.
But the collection of Energy is fine and dandy, how does that lead to, or how is that reason for giving us holidays, you might ask. After all, the more they keep students at school, the more they stand to gain in terms of higher Energy Yields, right? WRONG.
Our Girls' School Correspondent has recently brought to our attention her latest findings, that whilst sitting in a Geography class, she has noted that our major holidays coincide with the monsoon seasons of the South-East Asian region; with the South-West Monsoon in June and the North-East Monsoon in the November/December months. This has led our experts to the realization that students are kept out of schools in the holidays for the reasons of conservation of energy.
We must realize that although having students in school is an extremely lucrative means of attaining large amounts of Energy, it is a highly costly one in terms of energy consumption as well. This explains why rooms at schools, when not in use, are usually locked up and students are constantly reminded to switch off all lights and fans when not in use. The more Energy that is saved, the higher the net amount of energy produced.
However, when the monsoon season rolls around, the demand for Energy is exemplified. Monsoon seasons mean constant rain, and when its rainy and cloudy, it gets dark indoors, and when this happens, millions of households across the country switch on the lights, leading to immense jumps in the overall use of energy. As such, it is of utmost that any unnecessary outflow of energy needs to be stemmed. Lets go back to what this writer has mentioned earlier on in this article about Examinations. The lack of new Energy creation during the holidays will have already been compensated for by the onslaught of examinations on the minds of students. By this cunningly crafted and precise planning, the EA manages to fulfill its primary goal of attaining the highest possible yield of energy -- the over-compensation of energy production prevents the compromise of energy levels during the peak period caused my monsoon seasons.
In this story, everyone is happy. The people at home, switching on their lights as the rain falls outside, and the EA definitely is happy too, being completely smug and patting themselves on their back, congratulating themselves for yet another well thought out plan. The average students are happy, going around blissfully unaware of the world of TheSchoolConspiracies. But YOU know, YOU are now privy to the diabolical plans of the EA and the Government. YOU know the true purpose of Examinations, and the purpose of the school holidays that you so often spend your weeks looking forward to. Students are being mindlessly exploited as YOU read this, right this very instant. And they are completely unaware of this. This, is what we seek to change.
As you probably all are rejoicing now, thinking that FINALLY, it's the school holidays and we've all gotten off the hook [for the month at the very least] and can finally take a breather, we can take time, take stock, smell the flowers and take in the view of our lives that fly by in a flustered floozy during the school term. Well, we, the investigators at TheSchoolConspiracyTheory certainly DO agree and believe that the holidays are indeed a time of much needed rest and relaxation, but is that all? Is there more to holidays than the seemingly innocent front of giving students a break ever so often? Join us as we delve into the deeper, and reveal the darker secrets.
As we have mentioned in earlier articles, TheSchoolConspiracyTheory has uncovered the truth about schools, that they are in fact facilities fun by mercenary governmental organizations to tap Brain Energy from unsuspecting students. Why then, are we given school vacations, ranging between one and six weeks?
We do not deny the merits of school vacations. After all, we know how tired and hoe desperate students are for rest at the end of each ten-week term at school. Students need time to recharge, because when frustration and fatigue sets in, and students are driven to the point of Almost-Depression, Energy Production levels fall sharply. That is bad sign number one for the EA. Furthermore, with students on the brink of mental breakdowns, the EA could lose important sources of Energy Creation should students tip over and end up with clinical depression, or if they stay away from school on MC or with the help of a parents' letter. That is bad sign number two. The third bad sign comes in the form of a Counter-Energy that does more harm than good, but TheSchoolConspiracyTheory has yet to explore this aspect of Energy Creation closely.
But more than that, we have to examine closely what closely precedes and follows the so-called school vacation, and to suit our current holidays, let us examine this in context of the June holidays. For most schools, both Primary and Secondary, there are Mid-Year Examinations in the lead-up to the holidays, and as aforementioned in our earlier publication, Examinations and Tests are a means of harnessing immense quantities of Energy as the papers are designed to spike Brain Wave patterns that prove to be the most useful in generating useable Energy. The same applies for the week following the four-week break, which then witnesses student in Junior Colleges going through their version of the Mid-Year Examinations and its variations that hide behind euphemisms such as Block Tests and June Common Tests. True, in the case of Junior College students, the holidays are a source of much-needed time for revision, but this just serves all the more to the purposes of the Energy Authority -- the more students know, the more they will think and answer the papers along the lines of what is required of them to produce the optimal amount and type of Brain Energy, and the more the EA stands to gain.
But the collection of Energy is fine and dandy, how does that lead to, or how is that reason for giving us holidays, you might ask. After all, the more they keep students at school, the more they stand to gain in terms of higher Energy Yields, right? WRONG.
Our Girls' School Correspondent has recently brought to our attention her latest findings, that whilst sitting in a Geography class, she has noted that our major holidays coincide with the monsoon seasons of the South-East Asian region; with the South-West Monsoon in June and the North-East Monsoon in the November/December months. This has led our experts to the realization that students are kept out of schools in the holidays for the reasons of conservation of energy.
We must realize that although having students in school is an extremely lucrative means of attaining large amounts of Energy, it is a highly costly one in terms of energy consumption as well. This explains why rooms at schools, when not in use, are usually locked up and students are constantly reminded to switch off all lights and fans when not in use. The more Energy that is saved, the higher the net amount of energy produced.
However, when the monsoon season rolls around, the demand for Energy is exemplified. Monsoon seasons mean constant rain, and when its rainy and cloudy, it gets dark indoors, and when this happens, millions of households across the country switch on the lights, leading to immense jumps in the overall use of energy. As such, it is of utmost that any unnecessary outflow of energy needs to be stemmed. Lets go back to what this writer has mentioned earlier on in this article about Examinations. The lack of new Energy creation during the holidays will have already been compensated for by the onslaught of examinations on the minds of students. By this cunningly crafted and precise planning, the EA manages to fulfill its primary goal of attaining the highest possible yield of energy -- the over-compensation of energy production prevents the compromise of energy levels during the peak period caused my monsoon seasons.
In this story, everyone is happy. The people at home, switching on their lights as the rain falls outside, and the EA definitely is happy too, being completely smug and patting themselves on their back, congratulating themselves for yet another well thought out plan. The average students are happy, going around blissfully unaware of the world of TheSchoolConspiracies. But YOU know, YOU are now privy to the diabolical plans of the EA and the Government. YOU know the true purpose of Examinations, and the purpose of the school holidays that you so often spend your weeks looking forward to. Students are being mindlessly exploited as YOU read this, right this very instant. And they are completely unaware of this. This, is what we seek to change.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
The School Conspiracy Theory – The Truth About School Facilities
If you've walked around in your school, and wondered why your school building was in the state that it is in [especially if your school looks like its falling apart at the seams] and nothing is being done to improve it, or perhaps you've wondered where in the world all the money that the government claims to be spending on schools goes to [because really, it does not show at all], you've come to the right place. This article will answer all the questions you've ever had about facilities that are in place in school. Why does it cost so much? Where does the money all go? Why are they not doing anything to upgrade school infrastructure as they so claim they will? Read on, and we will give you the answers to these questions and more.
It has recently been reported in the media that it costs tens of thousands of dollars to put each student through one of the seventeen local junior colleges per year. Wow, you might be thinking, that sounds like a lot of money. Well, that's because IT IS. Where does it all go, you ask. Well we've all been led to believe that the money is poured into building state-of-the-art school buildings with sprawling grounds, with full facilities ranging from auditoriums to computer labs, lecture theatres to libraries, sports facilities from tennis courts to basketball courts, synthetic running tracks and gyms. Fine by us, we students certainly do deserve such facilities considering the mountain of other activities that we have to partake in besides studying. However, we question, does this really cost all THAT much, every year, for EACH student?
Here's what we believe happens to the money. We have told you about the diabolical plans of the governments to use students as alternative power sources, and we believe the money goes into building the mega infrastructure that is required to support this tapping of energy from students. Shocking, but true. It IS a huge project to rig entire schools to draw energy from unsuspecting students. All Energy Tapping Devices [henceforth known as ETDs] have to be carefully hidden out of sight and away from prying hands and itchy fingers. All equipment has to be placed strategically and delicately to not raise any suspicion, and yet still be able to function fully and to its best ability. Experts in the fields of Energy Sourcing and Energy Tapping have to be hired, and all plans have to be gone over time, and time again, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is where all our taxpayer's money is going.
If you still have trouble swallowing what I've just said, lets go into the specifics. Here at The School Conspiracy Theory, we believe that nothing in schools is left up to chance, we believe that everything in schools are placed there for a specific reason, and we will go on to explore what uses these things are there for.
Lets start with large air-conditioned rooms, such as Auditoriums, Lecture Theatres and Multi-Purpose Halls and the like. These rooms are huge contributors to overall Energy Yields simply because they have a large volume of students using them and passing through them each and every day. Furthermore, it boasts not one, but two types of ETDs, that work together to ensure that no morsel or ounce of Brain Energy leaves the room uncaptured. First off are the seats, affectionately known to us Investigators as Energy Suckers, which really, as the name suggests, suck the Brain Energy right out of students. These work best when the student is sitting in the seat properly, that is to say, sitting right into the seat and leaning on the back rest. However, students these days hardly sit properly in their seats anymore, choosing instead to slouch in their seats or slump over and sleep instead. Hence, there is the second line of defence -- Energy Condensers. These monster machines are usually mounted and concealed within the ceilings of these large rooms with the sole purpose of picking up any Brain Energy that goes "un-sucked" by the Energy Sucker Seats. The new generation Condensers are even fitted in together with the air-conditioner units. Remember, that a lot of Energy could go wasted without these Condensers because so many students do not use seats properly, and some of the fidget in their seats, so much so that the delicate instruments of the Seats cannot properly pick up the large amounts of Brain Energy that are being emitted. Along with the Energy Condensers however, these air-conditioned rooms are transformed into the top Energy Collection Centers.
And if you're thinking, well I don't use the Lecture Theatres, or I don't use air-conditioned classrooms, and therefore you think you are safe, well you aren't. Basically, the Energy Sucker Seats operate almost anywhere in school, and Condensers are present in the classrooms as well, just smaller units, but no less effective ones.
What else are commonplace in schools these days? Overhead Projectors, both the trusty old transparency kind and the new variety that works combined with laptops or visualisers. Now these are wonderful inventions, really, that make teaching so much easier and more effective because students can actually see what’s going on, and time is saved because teachers just have to flash transparencies and not write on the board and so on, but as earlier said, we do not believe that these things are there by chance. We have uncovered that the real purpose of these Projectors are to serve as Brain Wave Pattern Alters [BWPA]. The design of these BWPAs is ingenious, really. When in operation, they send out pulses in the light, undetectable under normal circumstances, and these pulse are designed to first synchronize with the Brain Waves of the students, and then slowly begin to alter them [which explains why lessons are usually in the region of between 45-60 minutes because the BWPA need time to work effectively], until they reach the point where the Brain Wave Patterns are ideal for Energy Tapping.
But lets go even baser than that: whiteboards and the now [more or less] defunct blackboards. Blackboards were first introduced primarily as reflectors of Brain Energy to better facilitate the collection of Energy via the Energy Condensers. However, as all you students of Science know, black is an absorber of energy, not a reflector, and whiteboards were later used to replace blackboards because of the heightened efficiency in Energy Collection that it allowed for. Furthermore, it was found that the dust from chalk was in fact, highly harmful to the general well-being of students, and had to be replaced because the students are the most important assets and resources to the EA. At the same time, Professor Helga from the German Energy Conservers Authority has gone so far as to suggest that the fumes of whiteboard markers are chemically spiked to enhance and artificially heighten Brain Wave Activity exponentially so as to give maximum Energy Yields. The Investigators, however, have not yet proved this theory, completely true, but we are looking into it carefully, and should it be proven authentic, this site will be the first to announce it.
So you see, the experts in Energy Sourcing and Energy Tapping really have proven to be extremely meticulous people who have well-thought out Energy Collection Schemes. They work tirelessly to ensure that all YOUR energy is sapped each and everyday at school. They work seamlessly with the EA, using huge amounts of taxpayers' money. We don't agree with what they are doing. Do YOU?
If you've walked around in your school, and wondered why your school building was in the state that it is in [especially if your school looks like its falling apart at the seams] and nothing is being done to improve it, or perhaps you've wondered where in the world all the money that the government claims to be spending on schools goes to [because really, it does not show at all], you've come to the right place. This article will answer all the questions you've ever had about facilities that are in place in school. Why does it cost so much? Where does the money all go? Why are they not doing anything to upgrade school infrastructure as they so claim they will? Read on, and we will give you the answers to these questions and more.
It has recently been reported in the media that it costs tens of thousands of dollars to put each student through one of the seventeen local junior colleges per year. Wow, you might be thinking, that sounds like a lot of money. Well, that's because IT IS. Where does it all go, you ask. Well we've all been led to believe that the money is poured into building state-of-the-art school buildings with sprawling grounds, with full facilities ranging from auditoriums to computer labs, lecture theatres to libraries, sports facilities from tennis courts to basketball courts, synthetic running tracks and gyms. Fine by us, we students certainly do deserve such facilities considering the mountain of other activities that we have to partake in besides studying. However, we question, does this really cost all THAT much, every year, for EACH student?
Here's what we believe happens to the money. We have told you about the diabolical plans of the governments to use students as alternative power sources, and we believe the money goes into building the mega infrastructure that is required to support this tapping of energy from students. Shocking, but true. It IS a huge project to rig entire schools to draw energy from unsuspecting students. All Energy Tapping Devices [henceforth known as ETDs] have to be carefully hidden out of sight and away from prying hands and itchy fingers. All equipment has to be placed strategically and delicately to not raise any suspicion, and yet still be able to function fully and to its best ability. Experts in the fields of Energy Sourcing and Energy Tapping have to be hired, and all plans have to be gone over time, and time again, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is where all our taxpayer's money is going.
If you still have trouble swallowing what I've just said, lets go into the specifics. Here at The School Conspiracy Theory, we believe that nothing in schools is left up to chance, we believe that everything in schools are placed there for a specific reason, and we will go on to explore what uses these things are there for.
Lets start with large air-conditioned rooms, such as Auditoriums, Lecture Theatres and Multi-Purpose Halls and the like. These rooms are huge contributors to overall Energy Yields simply because they have a large volume of students using them and passing through them each and every day. Furthermore, it boasts not one, but two types of ETDs, that work together to ensure that no morsel or ounce of Brain Energy leaves the room uncaptured. First off are the seats, affectionately known to us Investigators as Energy Suckers, which really, as the name suggests, suck the Brain Energy right out of students. These work best when the student is sitting in the seat properly, that is to say, sitting right into the seat and leaning on the back rest. However, students these days hardly sit properly in their seats anymore, choosing instead to slouch in their seats or slump over and sleep instead. Hence, there is the second line of defence -- Energy Condensers. These monster machines are usually mounted and concealed within the ceilings of these large rooms with the sole purpose of picking up any Brain Energy that goes "un-sucked" by the Energy Sucker Seats. The new generation Condensers are even fitted in together with the air-conditioner units. Remember, that a lot of Energy could go wasted without these Condensers because so many students do not use seats properly, and some of the fidget in their seats, so much so that the delicate instruments of the Seats cannot properly pick up the large amounts of Brain Energy that are being emitted. Along with the Energy Condensers however, these air-conditioned rooms are transformed into the top Energy Collection Centers.
And if you're thinking, well I don't use the Lecture Theatres, or I don't use air-conditioned classrooms, and therefore you think you are safe, well you aren't. Basically, the Energy Sucker Seats operate almost anywhere in school, and Condensers are present in the classrooms as well, just smaller units, but no less effective ones.
What else are commonplace in schools these days? Overhead Projectors, both the trusty old transparency kind and the new variety that works combined with laptops or visualisers. Now these are wonderful inventions, really, that make teaching so much easier and more effective because students can actually see what’s going on, and time is saved because teachers just have to flash transparencies and not write on the board and so on, but as earlier said, we do not believe that these things are there by chance. We have uncovered that the real purpose of these Projectors are to serve as Brain Wave Pattern Alters [BWPA]. The design of these BWPAs is ingenious, really. When in operation, they send out pulses in the light, undetectable under normal circumstances, and these pulse are designed to first synchronize with the Brain Waves of the students, and then slowly begin to alter them [which explains why lessons are usually in the region of between 45-60 minutes because the BWPA need time to work effectively], until they reach the point where the Brain Wave Patterns are ideal for Energy Tapping.
But lets go even baser than that: whiteboards and the now [more or less] defunct blackboards. Blackboards were first introduced primarily as reflectors of Brain Energy to better facilitate the collection of Energy via the Energy Condensers. However, as all you students of Science know, black is an absorber of energy, not a reflector, and whiteboards were later used to replace blackboards because of the heightened efficiency in Energy Collection that it allowed for. Furthermore, it was found that the dust from chalk was in fact, highly harmful to the general well-being of students, and had to be replaced because the students are the most important assets and resources to the EA. At the same time, Professor Helga from the German Energy Conservers Authority has gone so far as to suggest that the fumes of whiteboard markers are chemically spiked to enhance and artificially heighten Brain Wave Activity exponentially so as to give maximum Energy Yields. The Investigators, however, have not yet proved this theory, completely true, but we are looking into it carefully, and should it be proven authentic, this site will be the first to announce it.
So you see, the experts in Energy Sourcing and Energy Tapping really have proven to be extremely meticulous people who have well-thought out Energy Collection Schemes. They work tirelessly to ensure that all YOUR energy is sapped each and everyday at school. They work seamlessly with the EA, using huge amounts of taxpayers' money. We don't agree with what they are doing. Do YOU?
Thursday, May 04, 2006
The School Conspiracy Theory (Part I)
The School Conspiracy Theory
Over the past few days in school, I've begun to realize increasingly that class makes me feel two things. (a), hungry, and (b) tired. And the latter usually prevails. The moment I step out of class, however, that feeling goes away, and I instantaneously feel completely rejuvenated. My classmates tell me it's a common feeling that everyone feels, and if you're one of those who feel the way we do, I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
Here is my theory on what really goes on, and what causes all this lethargy and tiredness. Here is my take, my attempt to explain the inexplicable and the bizarre. Here, is what I've come to believe.
See, I believe that what really goes on in schools, is that schools are not just institutes of education. Oh no, they're more than just that. The whole "institutes of education" thing is merely a front. What really goes on in schools is this: students are sources of energy that the government taps into as alternative forms of energy.
That's right, I believe schools are really just energy factories masked as institutions of higher learning, where kids go under the belief that they are there to learn things about the world around them, and grow as individuals, to be intellectually stimulated and to learn social skills and the nuances of human interaction. True, while generations of kids have grown up to be useful adults who contribute significantly to the society and economy, I believe what goes on in Energy Factories is much more sinister.
Sure, they teach you all these things in school, half of which don't even make sense. Why? Because I believe that extensive research has been done to delve into the minds of the young, and to search and decode their brain wave patterns. This is in turn used to generate huge amounts of energy, and extremely cheaply and pollution free at that. Good, you may think, why don't they tell us this if it were true? Well think about the backlash it might cause. Imagine the headlines Governments Found To Have Been Exploiting Youth To Power Nation. Not pretty, is it?
I believe that the curriculum and syllabus that are taught in schools are merely stimulus to the brain, and they are tailored to spike brain wave activity (because this is really the source of the energy the Energy Authority (henceforth known as the EA) is out to collect) and to ensure the highest yield of energy to guarantee the greatest efficiency, and maximum resource allocation. That is why the curriculum is constantly undergoing changes, because the frontiers of Brain Energy are constantly being pushed, new aspects are being found out, and therefore, changes have to be made to push Brain Energy yields. Bring on the Teach Less Learn More scheme, it really just is Teach Less Collect More.
Think about it, why else do students always feel so tired in class? Because their energy is being drained with great efficiency through their butts from the chairs that they sit on. Therefore, the moment they get out of their seats and out of class, they instantaneously feel better, simply because the Energy Tapping Devices are not at work anymore. As much as we don't see it now, and as much as everyone doesn't see it, ladies and gentlemen, it is Brave New World out there.
Tests and exams are not just tests and exams. What happens when you take such examinations? You think, a lot, don't you? And that is EXACTLY what the EA wants. Heightened thinking leads to spikes in brain wave patterns and hence higher energy yields. Just imagine, a hall packed full of 1000 students all panicking and working their heads away for a Physics paper perhaps, it really is a field day for the EA. Now that's just ONE hall. Imagine that, multiplied across the nation, and across the world.
What's more, with recently introduced Through Train programs such as the various Integrated programs and the International Bachelorette, they're once again just scheming plans to attain higher Brain Energy yields. Throw out the textbooks, they say, lets go play and learn at the same time. We'll go fox-a-flying for physics class, and crystal-a-growing for chemistry class. We'll throw two subjects together that don't really link and we'll call it Integrated Subjects. We'll keep you in class until 430 every day, and we'll give you nice furniture to make up for it. What really they want, is just Brain Energy, from poor young kids, and they're experimenting and fine tuning such methods of "learning" which really is just Energy Harvesting.
Well if you're still not convinced, here is what I believe that EA has found out about Energy Harvesting. I believe that they have found the maximum yields of energy are attained when students are under extreme stress, and especially when they are sleep deprived. As such, the tests and exams, are the peak seasons for harvest simply because of the stress, sleep depravation, and the heightened thinking. Homework and group work are also extremely essential to this process because it adds to the stress and sleep deprived factors. Why else are students forced piles and piles of tutorials and homework, and endless Project Works and group work? Teachers have a hard time marking them, but that’s what they have to do.
On the point of streaming and the various schools, which are so commonly hotly contested by many in society. Lets face it, people all function differently, and with streaming and "sorting out" the students, the EA effectively sets the basis for maximum yields again, because the curriculum that each different stream uses would be tailored best to gain the maximum fluctuation and stimulation of the brain waves of the different types of students. The same applies with the various different subjects that students choose to take on, and the whole notion of the "arts" and "science" faculties.
Furthermore, teachers are all just really agents of the EA. They spend two years in NIE learning not how to teach, but how to best tweak the minds of their students and squeeze every last drop of energy out of them. I think this explains the inexplicable and instinctive reaction that students have towards their teachers --detest and dislike.
So you see, schools really are Energy Factories whose sole aim is to gain the highest Harvest of Brain Energy. Behind the façade of being institutes of higher education, they really are just dungeons where students are gradually having their lives sucked right out of them, when they really should be out there in the streets having fun and enjoying their youth. Youth is wasted on the young, they say. I say, youth is tapped to run nations.
It may seem a far stretch. It may seem like a very long shot. It may seem that I have let my imagination take me by the hand and run away with it with reckless abandon. But I think not. And this is what I believe in with my whole being -- The School Conspiracy Theory.
Over the past few days in school, I've begun to realize increasingly that class makes me feel two things. (a), hungry, and (b) tired. And the latter usually prevails. The moment I step out of class, however, that feeling goes away, and I instantaneously feel completely rejuvenated. My classmates tell me it's a common feeling that everyone feels, and if you're one of those who feel the way we do, I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
Here is my theory on what really goes on, and what causes all this lethargy and tiredness. Here is my take, my attempt to explain the inexplicable and the bizarre. Here, is what I've come to believe.
See, I believe that what really goes on in schools, is that schools are not just institutes of education. Oh no, they're more than just that. The whole "institutes of education" thing is merely a front. What really goes on in schools is this: students are sources of energy that the government taps into as alternative forms of energy.
That's right, I believe schools are really just energy factories masked as institutions of higher learning, where kids go under the belief that they are there to learn things about the world around them, and grow as individuals, to be intellectually stimulated and to learn social skills and the nuances of human interaction. True, while generations of kids have grown up to be useful adults who contribute significantly to the society and economy, I believe what goes on in Energy Factories is much more sinister.
Sure, they teach you all these things in school, half of which don't even make sense. Why? Because I believe that extensive research has been done to delve into the minds of the young, and to search and decode their brain wave patterns. This is in turn used to generate huge amounts of energy, and extremely cheaply and pollution free at that. Good, you may think, why don't they tell us this if it were true? Well think about the backlash it might cause. Imagine the headlines Governments Found To Have Been Exploiting Youth To Power Nation. Not pretty, is it?
I believe that the curriculum and syllabus that are taught in schools are merely stimulus to the brain, and they are tailored to spike brain wave activity (because this is really the source of the energy the Energy Authority (henceforth known as the EA) is out to collect) and to ensure the highest yield of energy to guarantee the greatest efficiency, and maximum resource allocation. That is why the curriculum is constantly undergoing changes, because the frontiers of Brain Energy are constantly being pushed, new aspects are being found out, and therefore, changes have to be made to push Brain Energy yields. Bring on the Teach Less Learn More scheme, it really just is Teach Less Collect More.
Think about it, why else do students always feel so tired in class? Because their energy is being drained with great efficiency through their butts from the chairs that they sit on. Therefore, the moment they get out of their seats and out of class, they instantaneously feel better, simply because the Energy Tapping Devices are not at work anymore. As much as we don't see it now, and as much as everyone doesn't see it, ladies and gentlemen, it is Brave New World out there.
Tests and exams are not just tests and exams. What happens when you take such examinations? You think, a lot, don't you? And that is EXACTLY what the EA wants. Heightened thinking leads to spikes in brain wave patterns and hence higher energy yields. Just imagine, a hall packed full of 1000 students all panicking and working their heads away for a Physics paper perhaps, it really is a field day for the EA. Now that's just ONE hall. Imagine that, multiplied across the nation, and across the world.
What's more, with recently introduced Through Train programs such as the various Integrated programs and the International Bachelorette, they're once again just scheming plans to attain higher Brain Energy yields. Throw out the textbooks, they say, lets go play and learn at the same time. We'll go fox-a-flying for physics class, and crystal-a-growing for chemistry class. We'll throw two subjects together that don't really link and we'll call it Integrated Subjects. We'll keep you in class until 430 every day, and we'll give you nice furniture to make up for it. What really they want, is just Brain Energy, from poor young kids, and they're experimenting and fine tuning such methods of "learning" which really is just Energy Harvesting.
Well if you're still not convinced, here is what I believe that EA has found out about Energy Harvesting. I believe that they have found the maximum yields of energy are attained when students are under extreme stress, and especially when they are sleep deprived. As such, the tests and exams, are the peak seasons for harvest simply because of the stress, sleep depravation, and the heightened thinking. Homework and group work are also extremely essential to this process because it adds to the stress and sleep deprived factors. Why else are students forced piles and piles of tutorials and homework, and endless Project Works and group work? Teachers have a hard time marking them, but that’s what they have to do.
On the point of streaming and the various schools, which are so commonly hotly contested by many in society. Lets face it, people all function differently, and with streaming and "sorting out" the students, the EA effectively sets the basis for maximum yields again, because the curriculum that each different stream uses would be tailored best to gain the maximum fluctuation and stimulation of the brain waves of the different types of students. The same applies with the various different subjects that students choose to take on, and the whole notion of the "arts" and "science" faculties.
Furthermore, teachers are all just really agents of the EA. They spend two years in NIE learning not how to teach, but how to best tweak the minds of their students and squeeze every last drop of energy out of them. I think this explains the inexplicable and instinctive reaction that students have towards their teachers --detest and dislike.
So you see, schools really are Energy Factories whose sole aim is to gain the highest Harvest of Brain Energy. Behind the façade of being institutes of higher education, they really are just dungeons where students are gradually having their lives sucked right out of them, when they really should be out there in the streets having fun and enjoying their youth. Youth is wasted on the young, they say. I say, youth is tapped to run nations.
It may seem a far stretch. It may seem like a very long shot. It may seem that I have let my imagination take me by the hand and run away with it with reckless abandon. But I think not. And this is what I believe in with my whole being -- The School Conspiracy Theory.
