The School Conspiracy Theory

The School Conspiracy Theory – The Truth About School Facilities

If you've walked around in your school, and wondered why your school building was in the state that it is in [especially if your school looks like its falling apart at the seams] and nothing is being done to improve it, or perhaps you've wondered where in the world all the money that the government claims to be spending on schools goes to [because really, it does not show at all], you've come to the right place. This article will answer all the questions you've ever had about facilities that are in place in school. Why does it cost so much? Where does the money all go? Why are they not doing anything to upgrade school infrastructure as they so claim they will? Read on, and we will give you the answers to these questions and more.

It has recently been reported in the media that it costs tens of thousands of dollars to put each student through one of the seventeen local junior colleges per year. Wow, you might be thinking, that sounds like a lot of money. Well, that's because IT IS. Where does it all go, you ask. Well we've all been led to believe that the money is poured into building state-of-the-art school buildings with sprawling grounds, with full facilities ranging from auditoriums to computer labs, lecture theatres to libraries, sports facilities from tennis courts to basketball courts, synthetic running tracks and gyms. Fine by us, we students certainly do deserve such facilities considering the mountain of other activities that we have to partake in besides studying. However, we question, does this really cost all THAT much, every year, for EACH student?

Here's what we believe happens to the money. We have told you about the diabolical plans of the governments to use students as alternative power sources, and we believe the money goes into building the mega infrastructure that is required to support this tapping of energy from students. Shocking, but true. It IS a huge project to rig entire schools to draw energy from unsuspecting students. All Energy Tapping Devices [henceforth known as ETDs] have to be carefully hidden out of sight and away from prying hands and itchy fingers. All equipment has to be placed strategically and delicately to not raise any suspicion, and yet still be able to function fully and to its best ability. Experts in the fields of Energy Sourcing and Energy Tapping have to be hired, and all plans have to be gone over time, and time again, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is where all our taxpayer's money is going.

If you still have trouble swallowing what I've just said, lets go into the specifics. Here at The School Conspiracy Theory, we believe that nothing in schools is left up to chance, we believe that everything in schools are placed there for a specific reason, and we will go on to explore what uses these things are there for.

Lets start with large air-conditioned rooms, such as Auditoriums, Lecture Theatres and Multi-Purpose Halls and the like. These rooms are huge contributors to overall Energy Yields simply because they have a large volume of students using them and passing through them each and every day. Furthermore, it boasts not one, but two types of ETDs, that work together to ensure that no morsel or ounce of Brain Energy leaves the room uncaptured. First off are the seats, affectionately known to us Investigators as Energy Suckers, which really, as the name suggests, suck the Brain Energy right out of students. These work best when the student is sitting in the seat properly, that is to say, sitting right into the seat and leaning on the back rest. However, students these days hardly sit properly in their seats anymore, choosing instead to slouch in their seats or slump over and sleep instead. Hence, there is the second line of defence -- Energy Condensers. These monster machines are usually mounted and concealed within the ceilings of these large rooms with the sole purpose of picking up any Brain Energy that goes "un-sucked" by the Energy Sucker Seats. The new generation Condensers are even fitted in together with the air-conditioner units. Remember, that a lot of Energy could go wasted without these Condensers because so many students do not use seats properly, and some of the fidget in their seats, so much so that the delicate instruments of the Seats cannot properly pick up the large amounts of Brain Energy that are being emitted. Along with the Energy Condensers however, these air-conditioned rooms are transformed into the top Energy Collection Centers.

And if you're thinking, well I don't use the Lecture Theatres, or I don't use air-conditioned classrooms, and therefore you think you are safe, well you aren't. Basically, the Energy Sucker Seats operate almost anywhere in school, and Condensers are present in the classrooms as well, just smaller units, but no less effective ones.

What else are commonplace in schools these days? Overhead Projectors, both the trusty old transparency kind and the new variety that works combined with laptops or visualisers. Now these are wonderful inventions, really, that make teaching so much easier and more effective because students can actually see what’s going on, and time is saved because teachers just have to flash transparencies and not write on the board and so on, but as earlier said, we do not believe that these things are there by chance. We have uncovered that the real purpose of these Projectors are to serve as Brain Wave Pattern Alters [BWPA]. The design of these BWPAs is ingenious, really. When in operation, they send out pulses in the light, undetectable under normal circumstances, and these pulse are designed to first synchronize with the Brain Waves of the students, and then slowly begin to alter them [which explains why lessons are usually in the region of between 45-60 minutes because the BWPA need time to work effectively], until they reach the point where the Brain Wave Patterns are ideal for Energy Tapping.

But lets go even baser than that: whiteboards and the now [more or less] defunct blackboards. Blackboards were first introduced primarily as reflectors of Brain Energy to better facilitate the collection of Energy via the Energy Condensers. However, as all you students of Science know, black is an absorber of energy, not a reflector, and whiteboards were later used to replace blackboards because of the heightened efficiency in Energy Collection that it allowed for. Furthermore, it was found that the dust from chalk was in fact, highly harmful to the general well-being of students, and had to be replaced because the students are the most important assets and resources to the EA. At the same time, Professor Helga from the German Energy Conservers Authority has gone so far as to suggest that the fumes of whiteboard markers are chemically spiked to enhance and artificially heighten Brain Wave Activity exponentially so as to give maximum Energy Yields. The Investigators, however, have not yet proved this theory, completely true, but we are looking into it carefully, and should it be proven authentic, this site will be the first to announce it.

So you see, the experts in Energy Sourcing and Energy Tapping really have proven to be extremely meticulous people who have well-thought out Energy Collection Schemes. They work tirelessly to ensure that all YOUR energy is sapped each and everyday at school. They work seamlessly with the EA, using huge amounts of taxpayers' money. We don't agree with what they are doing. Do YOU?